Any resemblance or similarity to real or fictional persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Stories may be too intense, offensive, and/or disturbing for some readers including: children, people with children, people born with parents, religious zealots, politicians, pundits, virgins, corporate officers, employees of corporations, bipolar individuals, schizophrenics, conspiracy theorists, radical feminists, published authors, editors, English teachers, evangelists, Libertarians, sadists, federalists, fascists, capitalists, economists, physicists, Doctor Who enthusiasts, and Normal people.

Stories may include: gender variance, alternative sexualities, violence, shamanic medicines, entheogenic substances, ecstatic and ascetic altered states of consciousness, advocacy for moral transcendence, consciousness awakening properties, comparative religions, historical spiritual practices (like your ancestors practiced), animism, animatism, nondualism, Confucianism in good times, Buddhism in bad times, Daoism in old age, time travel, space travel, evolution advocacy, intelligent design, reality hacking, magick, sigils, paganism, chaos magick, masturbation (intellectual and otherwise), illiterate dragon-riding aliens with a rich oral history, anarchy, monarchy, plutarchy, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria, and other things not included.

This disclaimer does not protect you from misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, plagues, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear incidents, sonic boom vibrations, solar flares, Santa Claus, Krampaus, Nibiru, alien abduction or other hyperdimensional pro bono proctologists, shadow governments, the NWO, Apophis, asteroid or comet impacts, Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra, or mindless Hollywood disaster films.

This is a dramatization. Don’t believe everything you read. Times, spaces and reality tunnels are approximate. Story subject to change without notice.

Keep your goals to yourself. Do not point. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. According to the Surgeon general, consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to avoid activity you’ll regret. Not responsible for any consequences of your reading habits or lack thereof. PC Load Letter. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Written on a GMO-free, organic, local, pesticide-free laptop. No animals were harmed in the production of this story, but many humans worked in near slave conditions to make the device you read it on. Please do not feed the demons. Don’t get them wet, and never feed them after midnight. Equal opportunity character generation (see Player’s Handbook, Dungeon Master’s discretion). Captioning for the hearing impaired provided by the author at great expense. Offer not valid where prohibited.

Secrets of the universe told separately. Allow fourteen to sixteen billion years for results. Not for resale. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Use of illegal substances may be detrimental to your legal health. Please consult your lawyer. Use of entheogens may be beneficial to your spiritual health. Please consult your shaman. Use of food may affect your health. Please consult common sense.

Not recommended for children, parents of children, or anyone born with parents. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No minors. No solicitors. No alcohol. No really, a moose once bit my sister.

When commenting, emailing or otherwise posting any content to the internet, re-read, re-write, and re-consider your actions. Any advice given should be taken with “a small Siberian salt mine” (Isaac Bonewits).

All rights reserved, occupied and squatted. No backsies. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Please remain dancing until the ride has come to a complete stop. Your mileage may vary. Please don’t sue me.

Breathe. Listen. Dance. Moderation in Moderation. We are all related.